How Did We Get HERE ?

Once upon a time, I lived in a place where each dwelling looked much like the dwelling next door, where green grass was manicured and life was good. All of the people worked somewhere in the city,  all of the children went to the local schools and life was good. Each day was just like the one before and life was good. One day I awoke to find I had everything I wanted and life was good. Life was so good in fact that I had trouble finding the source of my great unhappiness. I had reached all my goals and life was good  yet I found myself feeling unfulfilled, stifled. I had a family, a good job and a nice house so why wouldn't I be happy?

My first thought was it must be a connection problem between myself and creator. I then set out on a journey to explore my spiritual shortcomings. I began a spiritual blog, The Spiritual Feast, and began to really engage my relationship with my creator. I wrote about how material items diverted much of our attention from the natural world towards the superficial, consumer driven world. I realized that these things were causing traits like greed, desire and envy to exist within me. Despite my ability to understand that this unhealthy attachment to things was keeping me from becoming the me I wanted to be. Understanding the concept was simple. Reinforcing the principles behind the concept was far from simple.

Before I could act on these self discoveries and make appropriate changes in my life, the economy changed. I lost my great job. Two months later, my fiance lost his job too. We got rid of our house and downsized to an apartment while we worked our new jobs. After moving to another state we were able to recover and find comfort again. Yet, I still found myself plagued by the same unhappiness I had experienced before. 

We found ourselves at a very tricky crossroads. We could begin to reconstruct our lives as we had  before or we could dare to change. After close examination we realized our previous dream had only been a product of the culture in which we were raised, a dream written by others and imposed on us. Many people will ask, "How did someone impose a dream on you?" Simple, both my fiance and I grew up in the inner city (Chicago, Brooklyn respectively) where children are taught there are two paths in life, good and bad. One path is a revolving door and the other an exit. The revolving door spins you around and puts you right back in the life you were trying to escape. The other path, the exit was a chance to leave the life you grew up in for something better. 

We had lived our lives according to the myth that there were only these specific two roads in life, good and bad. The first step to creating our new dream was to shatter the myth that there were designated roads to happiness. This transformation of thinking empowered us to create our own dream without worrying about fitting in with norms created by society, our culture or our families. We explored all those dreams that had been on the sitting on the backburner until we had our lives in "order".  You know the "if I won the lottery" or "after we pay this off we will ..." dreams. Our most compelling options were travel and home ownership (without debt).

After much research and debate, we decided to achieve  both. We decided to become a full time RV family traveling and working our way around the United States. Since then, we have purchased an RV, purged 90% of our worldy possessions, reside in the RV working locally. Our plans to travel and work kamp begin this summer and take us to Utah near the Grand Staircase. Some people don't quite understand our desire to escape conventional life. Others understand and even envy our ability to break free of societal/cultural limitations to embark on an journey where our purpose is ever evolving. On this new road we hope to live our dream of finding adventure, knowledge, connectivity with the earth, friendship and closeness as a family. On this journey of growth and discovery, we hope to gradually  leave selfishness, materialism and the obsession with impressions behind in the dust.

I do hope this provides those straddling the fence with some insight of how we came to the decision to leave mainstream and forge ahead a path all our own. For more insight to our process and progress thus far read:The Search, The Plan, The Purge, The Dream and The Myth.

This blog post is part of a blog hop. Continue the journey of searching, discovery and choices with Break out of Bushwick. . My favorite part, one we can all identify with no matter what life we lead:

I felt like I was living someone else’s life. Indeed, I was living someone else’s life. Melissa- at least, the Melissa I recognized- was gone.

This mom decided to Choose Life and I can't wait to read about her adventures abroad.

Pursuit of Happiness

I was so impressed with this article I had to share it on my blog. Many of us have given up the traditional life to pursue happiness. I am afraid that if these things aren't included in the transformation that we may be disappointed in our quest for fulfillment. I found this on Purpose Fairy Blog.
I hope you enjoy this and find it helpful in becoming the person you want to be.
Stay posted to our life as it unfolds as The Golden Gypsies...

15 Things You Should Give up to be Happy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Nomadiquette

Nomadiquette- is a code of behavior that defines expectations for social behavior according to non-contemporary nomadic groups.

Being a newbie to the nomadic lifestyle, I personally have had anxiety about being accepted and welcomed by the nomadic groups that I encounter. It was something about knowing or learning the non-spoken law of the ever changing land. Since the beginning of our transition into full-timers I have learned some rules, but realized that there are others that I (and some others) wish existed. Here is a wish list of nomadiquette. Thank you to all of the FB groups members that helped with input!

Nomadiquette 

1. Respect other's right to privacy and personal space. 

Just because you have no permanent land doesn't mean you don't want or deserve personal or private space. Majority of full-timers enjoy fellowship but not at the cost of privacy. Entering someones yard or site is similar to entering someones house...don't do it without permission.

2. Respect other's right to be different. 

We have our choice to travel in common. However, our reasons, resources, beliefs, customs, habits, hobbies, parenting styles, experiences, outlooks, attitudes, race, religion and whatever else may not be common. Discussing these things as a form of education, understanding and/or reaching out are fine but don't use these differences as opportunity to judge, belittle, preach, talk down or convert people. They have as much right to be different as you do.

3. POLITELY take your problems to the source. 

No one likes a tattle tale. No one can solve a problem they don't know exists. If you wish for a problem to have a solution, try talking to the source before any other action. Simply addressing the person(s) and having a non-accusatory conversation can alleviate majority of problems that arise. Most people would have no problem addressing the issue, if only you would politely ask.

4. When it is possible, help others. When you have information/ knowledge, share it.

There are moments when you see people reaching into the universe for information...You know the signs, confused look on their face, looking around with hand(s) on chin or hip, scratching their head.... Sometimes it is a simple answer to a question, suggestion or reference that is needed. We all have and will find ourselves in the position of needing assistance. Five minutes from your day could make the absolute difference in someone else's. Don't information hoard. If you find some great group, site, tutorial, recipe, attraction, service...then share the knowledge!   If there is some information or knowledge that could help them or save them a lot of wasted time, energy, money, pain... then share knowledge.

5. Clean after yourself and pet. 

No one likes other people's or pets nastiness. Use courtesy when using common areas by cleaning after your self, children and pets. Throw your trash away, clean the lint trap, flush the toilet and pick up pet poop.

6. Leave parenting to the parents. 

Unless you see a child engaging in an activity that could cause bodily harm/ danger leave the parenting to the parents.( i.e. running with a butcher knife, near a cliff,  near a rattlesnake) If you see something that alarms you, speak with the parent and voice your concern. BUT, understand that your concern may not be a concern to them and respect their right to parent. This goes for pet parents too. We all have different views of pet care. Unless the pet is being abused or tortured, don't judge or impose your pet care beliefs on others. (crates, tethers, inside/outside)

7. Introduce yourself first (not your blog, business, website) 

Nomads love to support other nomads' ventures. But more important is the opportunity to meet, learn, and experience someone/thing new. There is more life value in meeting people rather than clients or customers. If during conversation business or blogs come up, fine but don't introduce yourself for the sole purpose of advertisement. We got away from mainstream so we could experience life, not be bombarded with advertisements.

8. Don't ASSUME. 

If the Rv's a rockin', ASSUME their are kids inside! (what did you think Stephanie Mulac was going to say?) Things can seem to be something entirely different from what they actually are. People can jump to conclusions, react to misunderstandings and pass judgement on people because they did not see the entire picture or fully understand a situation. If you have a question, ask. If there is a matter that you feel you must address, before taking any action consider: a)whether action is necessary.  b) whether it is your place to take action. c)whether the action you take is in violation of nomatiquette rules 1, 2, 3, 6 or campground rules.

9. Don't Gossip.

No one likes to be the subject of gossip. No one likes their business being spread around. Whether you are in person or online, direct or indirect- RESPECT other people's right to privacy. Only share information that you have been asked or given permission to share.

10. If you can't SMILE and enjoy where you are, move.  

We all want to enjoy life! As people who travel for a lifestyle, there are always other places to see, visit and experience. If along the journey you find a bad experience leave it behind on the way to the next great experience because there are plenty. Some situations, places or weather just don't suit us or are unpleasant. Don't allow the negativity to ruin your day, week, month, year! The best part of this lifestyle is if you are unhappy with your surroundings unplug and move. There is somewhere out there where you can SMILE.

Thank you to the wonderful groups that help(ed) me when I am(was) lost:

Families on the Road

Family RV Adventures

Fulltime Families

Fulltime Freethinkers

Fulltime Rving

Nomadic Mamas

And thank you again to the people who contributed to this post by commenting in the Facebook groups. Check out their blogs:

The Wandering Workentins

Alice's Restaurant-Dishing up Food for Thought

AlanSills.com

LN Lurie's Blog

Living the RV Dream Blog

World changers are never seen as the super geniuses they are when they risk deviation from the norm to explore life's possibilities. It is only after the success of their risk that they are taken for what they are, revolutionary. At times, this validation comes much later, after the world has had time to understand and accept life's new different possibilities. Until people are ready to accept change, those that strive to seek change will always be seen as deranged. 

Society exists according to the thoughts and beliefs of the people within it, challenging the accepted norm challenges the comfort which stability provides, however false it may be. While some thrive living confined in the box, accepting the reality provided, others seek the possibility of shaping their own reality. If you are one of those people, I have something to share with you. If not, it is never too late in your life to change and become one of those people. 

By no means do I claim to have Tesla genius or Ghandi wisdom. I did however learn a valuable lesson from the stories of history's world changers:

Society will always find flaw with the way you conduct your life. People will always question whether your methods, beliefs, choices, values, decisions are best, valid or correct. (Especially if you broadcast it to the world through a blog!) Regardless of the courage in your heart, the logic in your head or the conviction in your soul that the path you chose is right, doubt (in the human form mostly) will inevitably find you and when you are most vulnerable, strike.

Courage is defined as : mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. Not the ability to make right decisions, avoid a fall, or inherently escape failure. It is the ability to face challenges, deterrents, and even our mistakes and to survive, to persevere through them. A world changer's most important quality is courage, the courage to break away from the known, the courage to face the unknown and the courage to discover the unknown knowns in life, that is the things we know but don't yet understand the meaning or importance of.

Part of being a world changer is following the drive within you that propels you forward, through trials, missteps and onward toward discovery and truth, in spite of what is popular or accepted. The point I am trying to make is live life according to your own standard. You will, as humans do, make mistakes and stumble. But this will happen whether you "play it safe" and follow the rules or "walk on the wild side" and write your own rules. World changers can't worry about the being accepted by society, instead they worry about accepting less than life has to offer. Don't allow others opinions, limitations or fears to dictate or determine your potential. No discovery, truth or greatness was ever found inside a box or within limits. 

I know we all need this reassurance every now and then, you wouldn't be reading this if you liked living in a box. Waking each day ready and open to where life has to lead you takes courage. Take this as the pat of encouragement or the universe sending you a message: Be courageous, be strong, be happy, but most of all...be you. And when you question yourself, answer yourself...but not out loud in public...that's crazy. 

I'd love to hear your comments and stories of how you were questioned, shamed, or discouraged from living life according to the change you wish to see. Feel free to share how you overcame, reacted or responded to this negative energy.

Some quotes for you world changers:

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” 
― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

"Be the change you wish to see in the world"

-Gandi

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
― Lao Tzu

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” 
― F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
-Apple Inc.

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” 
― Barack Obama

“And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time.” 
― Libba Bray, The Sweet Far Thing

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” 
― Mother Teresa